Everybody Nose
5.14.2009
Just because I have been so m.i.a. with my blogs lately....
Another topic I've eagerly been wanting to tackle steers back to that good ol' virtue; patience. Being the youngest of three girls, of course it's been a struggle for me since...well...birth. Having been told "yes" all the time. And in the rare occasions where "no" was the answer, I'd use my LG superpowers and change their minds. Cause I'm the bunso, guys. Everything goes.
Alright but seriously now, it's a lot deeper than that.
These passed couple of years, I've had a couple wants. And they're not material wants. But they're wants. For the longest time I've been wanting the same thing. And for some odd reason, I never got it. It was as if somebody was saying "no" to me fifty seven consecutive times. And i just wasn't used to it. At all. And after each rejection, I grew even more discouraged than the previous time. It didn't make sense to me.
Today, I thought about it, as I always did almost every night. And I was reminded that God does have a plan for me. It's not always about what I want, it's about what God truly believes is right for me. And as for those years, it just wasn't meant to be. I thought about it and thought about it and realized that, "yenno what? I'm glad I never got what I wanted!" If I were to rub a lamp and have Genie appear to me anytime between these passed four or five years, I would have been SCREWED! I'd abuse it like Jafar! Life would have been played out so differently. And I definitely wouldn't have been the person I am now. God PWNS Genie. After every prayer intention made, He totally thinks it through and how it plays out in His own super pro, jigsaw plan. Genie on the other hand --doesn't. God grants true love. Genie can't. God genuinely cares about us and always wants the best for us! Genie on the other hand ---couldn't give two shits! Bastard Genie.
It can be hard. Life. Sometimes even thinking about it gets exhausting. But sometimes we just need to trust that He has his own intricate plan for us and that that has a timetable of its own. Upon accepting this we need to stop wishing, stop dreaming, and stop planning. Forget it and just let it. [i totally didn't intend on rhyming. wow.]
As for this want (which will eventually morph into a need)...
it is a daily struggle to be patient, but I know it will come.
Trust. In God's time. Not mine.
"For I know the thoughts that I think towards you. says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you future and hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11
sincerely, Rm , 2:02 AM,
