Why, you ask?

When September 2009 came along, I was a person of fear. I was --straight up --a deer in headlights. I was person in a foreign country, an eighth grader in high school, a child who just got pansed --yeah. A fcking deer. Being a two-timer freshman, I made a promise to myself just to get in, get learned, and get the hell out of there! Screw making friends! I don't need them. I have plenty. It's every man for himself. So I thought. With that mentality, I was headed no where the first couple of months in school. While I kept to myself, my classmates were hanging out, partying, and enjoying each others' presence. I, on the other hand, never spoke to anyone, went to school for school, and headed home the instant classes were over. I was anti-social. And little did I know that it was eating me whole like an anorexic boa constrictor who hasn't eaten in months. We're human beings. We are programmed to interact with each other. Why else do you think prison isolation is the worst form of punishment?

The first time I hung out with them we were heading to the Vogue Theatre to watch Stephen Sondheim (for all those who don't know, he the music composer for such musicals as West Side Story, Follies, A Little Night Music etc.) talk about his life. I remember taking in a breath in the Sea Bus and in relief saying "This is fun!" and sounding like a retard saying it. But I really meant it. This marked the start of many great relationships!

Being in a performing arts program, people underestimate the stress we go through everyday. We are challenged physically, mentally, and emotionally. Knowing that everything we do, say, and think are being critiqued and judged. Even things we cannot change: our appearance. We constantly have to be on top of our research, our choreography, our musicality, our scripts, our actions et. al. We bust our asses off on the way to class, during class, and after class. Sometimes it leads to mental exhaustion and sometimes you just wanna rip your hair out, cry and isolate yourself from the world. A friend of mine, Melissa C. shared with me her feelings on that. She said that this stress and being on our tippy toes 24/7 is the lifestyle we chose. Crazy isn't it? How willing we are to dedicate ourselves for that one moment. In my case... that one moment is the satisfaction I feel during that last bow in curtain call.

In those struggling times (and I've had my share this year), we need a hand to hold. Not just any hand. We need someone who truly understands what we're going through. And I've been so blessed to have sixteen new ones.

It's true! We aren't like the other cohorts. We have a sense of unity and have formed our own support system. They've made this difficult freshman year bearable. They've helped make me this confident person I am today.

Here's to an amazing, and unforgettable year full of tears and laughter!